Poem for Steven

When we first met it felt like I finally found a piece of myself buried amongst the steel and ashes but when you left you got to take it with you. Now all that is left is the smoldering bones stari…

Source: Poem for Steven




“Be present. Make love. Make tea. Avoid small talk.  Embrace conversation.  Buy a plant, water it. Make your bed.  Make someone else’s bed. Have a smart mouth and quick wit.  Run. Make art. Create. Swim in the ocean. Swim in the rain. Take chances. Ask questions. Make mistakes. Learn. Know your worth. Love fiercely.  Forgive quickly.  Let go of what doesn’t make you happy. Grow.”

My Imaginary Platform

How do you find the corner of a circle room?

When people ask me why I began my political career, I will be honest. I am angry. I’m angry at the blatant disregard for the people of this country. I am angry with our current representation, if one could even call it that. I ask you- do you feel like you are being accurately represented in your government? Do you feel like the people who are selling your rights to clean air, an equitable education system, clean food and the health of your children to the highest bidder are concerned enough with your life to make decisions that benefit you and your family?

I don’t.

Over hours of discussion with my family, my friends and my community members, both digital and local, I have found that many, many people are feeling let down by the systems that have been in power for far too long. What I have found during these conversations is one profound sentence repeated over and over again, sometimes with anger, sometimes with fear and sometimes with utter defeat, “The system is broken.”

The system is broken. The systems are broken. We all say the same thing. We all repeat the same mantra, believing that if we say it enough, if we recognize it enough, the problem will fix itself.

The problems are not fixing themselves. They are not going away. In fact, they are growing worse. And most Americans are spending their time taking photos of themselves and sandwiches they had for lunch instead of figuring out what exactly is leading us down this wormhole. We can no longer point figures at the looming shadow that is a “broken system” because what we have failed to recognize is the system is just that, a system. And it is build upon the backs of the American people, yes, even you.

When Americans decided to give up on fighting their own battles, when we decided our children’s future should be the responsibility of stranger’s in a city we have never been, we signed away our right to participate in our own systems. We chose compliance over difficulty. We chose what was easy over what was right. And now we are free falling into a rape culture where the have and have nots are separated by a valley of poverty. The “American Dream” has cycled into an endless nightmare of hunger, human rights violations, injustice and greed. We have traded our morals for money. We, as a people, have been bought. We didn’t even know we were for sale.

But you should know, as an average Joe in America, that you are for sale; but not by you, by the corporations that have become more of a person than you are recognized as. When the bankers of a nation bankrupt their people for greed and profit are not punished but, in fact, bailed out by a government while the average folks were offered no respite from the storm that corruption began. Those people are still homeless while J.P. Morgan Chase paid their CEO $23.1 million dollars in 2011. Nobody else feels angry at this? Nobody else feels enraged that the Education Budget was slashed mercilessly while bankers continue to collect money for destroying our economy?

Speaking of Education, your children are getting a very poor one. You would know this if you were aware of the systematic failures that are happening in every school across America (not just the poor, unserved and largely ignored school districts.) Our children are suffering the most from this elected failure. I say elected, because voters have the right and the ability to choose the ones that represent them in office, but alas most voters do not have time to participate in the lives of their children. Who would send all of their “friends” Candy Crush Lives during the duration of the meeting?! We couldn’t deprive them of that! The horror! So your children are entered into a broken system and failed again and again. Hey! Why do you care? You have your high school diploma, right?

Shit, you may even have an Associates Degree from a community college that was able to give you a decent degree at a great price. Oh, it happened before the government decided to make education a money making scheme and cash in on all those idiots who believed in the promise of a better life through education. Nowadays, you need to be in debt to be educated, or of course, come from a wealthy family. But that is okay, right? Because if you just work hard enough, you can get good grades and then a good job and finally be given the opportunities that were promised to you since you first set foot in Kindergarten.

Except what they didn’t tell the 5 year old you, was that those promises were empty. The system is not set up for you to win. The cards are stacked against you and the House always wins. But they cannot tell you that, for that may make you upset. That may force you into social action. It may make you make a change. And what the greedy really hate is change. They want you to stay uneducated, stay poor, stay sick and stay in debt so they can continue to cash in on the dangerous obstacle course that is our Nation’s schema today. There is only room for a few on top and you can assume, you are not there.

If you are reading this and nodding along, I know I am not alone in this anger and we cannot stop at the excuse of “a broken system” and the expectation that someone else will change our world.

The poverty that most people in this country will face is inexcusable. We live in the land of promise, of wealth, of power and yet we still send children home hungry. We still have homeless veterans wandering our streets. We still have families being denied health care. We have children dying to line the pockets of the wealthy. And I will accept this no more. The danger in these systems is their ability to hide in plain sight. It is easy to blame the victims. It is hard examine the systems as a whole without attaching the negative feelings we have about the situation to those who are most affected.We as Americans are always looking for the scapegoat. We need faces to pair with issues. But what we are getting, from our corrupt and morally bankrupt media, is an incomplete, unfair and usually, downright incorrect version of the truth. They tell us what to believe and we do so, no questions asked.

“But what can I do?” I am asked this regularly. “I am only one person,” the people shout “I have no means to begin change.”

My answer? You have a voice. And we have each other. Collective action is the only way to change the broken systems we are all so helpless against. I’m asking you to join my revolution. I’m asking you to hear the anger in your own words and to join in the chorus of so many activists before me. I am asking you to care about your family, your friends, your neighbors and yourself. I am asking you to reject helplessness. I am asking you to hear the strength in your voice, I am asking you to hear that strength in others. I’m asking you to participate. I’m asking you to question, to listen, to explore, and to think. I am asking you to discover your own superpower. I am asking you to be a part of something bigger than yourself.

And I am asking you to elect me as your megaphone for our message.

Our “broken systems” have failed us for too long. Our helplessness and selfishness have handicapped our future and now it is time to remedy the problems. Newton told us how this may play out. An object in rest will stay at rest unless an external force acts upon it and an object in motion, will stay in motion unless an external force acts upon it. Let’s be our own external force. We can change this path we are on, but not until we force ourselves to move. I believe we can. I believe that change can come and we can shape our world for the better.


We made the bed and we laid in it. Well now, it is time to change the sheets. Who is with me?

Scabs transition to Scars

I was bullied as an adult.  I was bullied by someone who was supposed to help guide me in my professional career but instead, I was broken down and abused by her.  It wounded me deep.  I carried those open wounds for a year and then slowly those gaping sores began to scab over.  It was getting easier to wake up in my skin again.  I was a failure, but I survived.  It was a slow moving recovery.  I couldn’t forget about tongue lashings, the unfair standards, the hurtful comments about my weight, my hair, my skin color.  But I could keep moving.  I put one foot in front of the other and spent many a month relearning who I really was, not who my bully depicted me as.  This woman tried to make me hate myself and frankly, she almost succeeded.  Almost.  But now three years later, I can finally see the light pink of scars forming.  That horrible, ugly time in my life has given me the fire and the armor to take on anything.  I fear nothing.  I do not fear rejection, I do not fear opposition, I do not fear hardship.  I have suffered and emerged.  My survival is a testament to my strength and her weakness. I have forged something stronger with the pieces that were left.  The scars are proof that I can continue on in my journey.

And by accident, as I was looking up a massage therapist here in my area, I found my bully’s new blog.  I wanted to exit off the page immediately but something inside reminded me that at one time, my bully was my friend.  I used to respect her, more importantly, she used to respect herself.  Then she fell apart mentally and professionally.  And for the first time, I felt sorry for her. For the first time, I was able to look at her in a new light. For the first time, my wounds didn’t ache.  In the reflection of those soft pink scars, I see a woman who suffered just as much as me.  I see someone who was lost on their journey and was unhappy.  I saw someone who fell but I also saw someone who was able to pick herself up.  She did not belong in a classroom.  And the school finally recognized that and sent her on her way.  But walking down a new path is not a demotion- no, having the power to move on is something I admire.  It is something I had to do myself.  And now I can see that my suffering at her hands was needless, but it was her way of crying out for help.  Abusers are, almost always, first the abused.

Finally, I can see forgiveness in my heart for this woman.  I can wish her well and send her positivity through the universe. I can offer a weightless heart and love for another person trying to figure it out.  I can grow and in turn, help others grow as well.  And it may have taken three years, but I can finally see the beauty in my web of scars and share the gratitude of being on this Earth with all people.



Let’s get started

A beautiful look into the mind of a reflective soul.


August 6th 2013

I want to try new things, things I’ve been thinking about, love, blogging, tai chi, getting out of debt, doing something I love to do and maybe making a few bucks out of it. Is that even a possibility?

So I pondered; where to start, an unknown writes/blogs about change and thoughts and living, authors’ name – no name or a made up name, no location (except maybe the back deck or the porch). It could be anyone writing this, reading this, sharing this.

I have notebooks and scraps of paper collected with ideas, thoughts, pictures, and lost ideas and forgotten thoughts. So when I figure out how to name my blog – it’ll be “forgotten thoughts”.

Why now? Cause in one year this girl be changing it up. Change – great topic. In one year some decisions will need to be made, and if the need for a new direction/adventure is…

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